DR. CELESTE OPRIS, PH.D., LMFT
Anxiety is real and it affects each individual uniquely. All of us become anxious at some point. Whether it is at home, work, school, social gatherings, or when we are alone, anxiety can sometimes make us feel debilitated.
As a result of the discomfort felt when anxious, some people strategically and sometimes subconsciously, rush their lives. For instance, you may commonly say to yourself, “I just want to get this over with.” This can pertain to spending time with friends and family, or simply getting through the day.
This could even happen when being intimate with your partner. For example, if you are anxious that you have to get up early the next morning and you start thinking about all the things you need to do the next day, then it may be difficult for you to be in the present.
Certain individuals need to make plans in order to lessen their anxiety, because they need to know what the plan is and what will be happening. It is completely fine if this works for you, but some people cannot enjoy the present moment without planning for the next one. They miss out on what is presently surrounding them because they are too anxious about a future event that has not even taken place yet.
Some people even end a relationship because they anticipate it will end eventually. It is difficult for certain individuals to just “be” as overthinking becomes the norm and the anxiety from anticipating something will happen is simply too difficult for people to bare. In turn, an experience may be ended before it even had the chance to begin.
The fear of the unknown can be so powerful that sometimes you may not try something which interests you. For instance, you may not try new foods because you are afraid you may not like them or you may not go to a friend’s get-together because you do not know who will be there. Perhaps you hate feeling like you can’t control things, which may be one of the main reasons you have anxiety.
Your anxiety may be unintentionally affecting those around you. You may start to notice that your family members become more anxious around you or your co-workers will start asking you where you would like to go eat in order to make you more comfortable. Others may not understand your daily struggles so it may be beneficial to vocalize what you need in order to avoid unnecessary anxiety, stress, and paranoia.
The key is to see what works best for you. Start paying attention to what decreases your anxiety levels. You do not want to miss out on things, but you can learn ways to adjust to situations so you can be present and enjoy each experience coming your way. If you feel completely lost regarding how to accomplish this, consider reaching out to a friend who is easy to talk to or to a professional who specializes in anxiety. The hard part is asking for help, especially when dealing with anxiety, but the benefits will make you proud of yourself every time you tackle each hurdle.
Celeste Opris, Ph.D., LMFT, offers therapeutic services to individuals, couples, and families. Visit www.TherapyForModernHousewives.com.